What do you know about Swiss expats and emigration?

The Swiss passport seems to open many doors, as an exceptionally high percentage of the Swiss expats (59%) mention that getting a visa for their host country was very easy, an opinion only 41% of their global peers share.

Swissemigration, a division of the Federal Department of Foreign Affairs provides documentation and general advisory services on individual countries and specific topics. It produces illustrations on the annual figures for emigration among the usual resident population of Switzerland compiled by the Federal Statistical Office and for statistics on the number of Swiss nationals living abroad.

So, where do you fit in?

Expats from Switzerland are willing to sacrifice some of their income in order to enjoy an adventurous life abroad.

Swiss emigration to Europe for 2015

Total Swiss emigration world-wide in the year 2015

Expats in Switzerland

It might be easy to presume that given the cultural diversity in Switzerland, the local population would be welcoming to foreigners. However, according to Internations survey in 2016, 67% of Expats in Switzerland disagree when asked whether it is easy to make local friends in Switzerland.

While it may be difficult to settle in Switzerland, the quality of life there is still a big bonus for Expats. The country ranks 10th out of 67 countries in the Quality of Life Index.

It is true that the Swiss can be a little private, reluctant to become friends with foreigners but REMEMBER once they DO become your friend it is for life!

How long do you intend to be an Expat?

How long do you intend to be an Expat was the question put out to the community by my favourite blogger 4 kids, 20 suitcases and a beagle. My gut answer would be: it's a mindset as much as it is a formal posting abroad.

Technically I have been an Expat all my life; my family left my native country when I was two. I grew up as a Third World Kid, only at the time I didn't know I belonged to either of these two groups. As a matter of fact I didn't fit in anywhere. All through childhood my two best friends were "misfits" just like me. I realise today "being different" is what we had in common and created a bond that still keeps us close after decades.

My parents didn't see themselves as Expats once they decided to settle in Switzerland, so we simply became foreigners calling Zürich our home surrounded by an enormous Anglo-saxon community.

It was only after I married and moved to Argentina that I started defining myself as an Expat... and this opened up a whole new universe. A world where you dare to step out of what is normal, simply because you don't always realize what is considered normal in your host country. Family and friends are far away which means you need to rely on yourself but this also gives you the freedom to explore and re-invent yourself time and time again depending of your destination.

Now THIS is where I found my fit! Thriving with every move and jumping head first into every new adventure, trailblazing making sure my family could keep up.

Being an Expat to me equals venturing out towards new boundaries, opening yourself up without giving yourself up, embracing changes and rising to challenges. It means pushing yourself that extra bit and making the effort to learn the language, meet the natives and explore the local culture.

You change with every expatriation just like your kids mature after every trip you take them on. Places impact you, people leave a mark, cultures influence your character and age shapes your attitude.

After 10 expatriations - in order to maintain an inquisitive spirit and always walk one step beyond my comfort zone - I have taken an active decision to remain an Expat for life even if it looks as though we are settling down in Paris.

After all an Expat is "a person who lives outside their native country" and although this might be the official definition, for me it's the philosophy that I am hooked on, mustering up the courage and determination to plunge into the unknown, knowing that sometimes it may be a bumpy ride but that the rewards will outweigh the hardship!

I have never been known to be able to resist a positive challenge!

Expat life: not always a smooth ride

Expat life is not as easy and smooth as many people think. Moving to another country can be one of the best and most exciting experiences of someone’s life, but it can also be very stressful. Rates of depression among expats can be up to 50% higher than the general population. At the heart of expat stress is homesickness, and many, if not all, expats will experience homesickness at some point. 41% of expats say making friends is a key concern of theirs when moving abroad. Learning the language of your destination country is a key part to truly settling in, though speaking English can get you by in most situations. For expats moving abroad, on average it takes between 5 and 7 years for them to fully adjust and integrate into their new country.

The modern Third Culture Kid

Denizen is an online magazine and community dedicated to people who grew up in multiple countries, international school alumni, or Third Culture Kids (TCK). Third Culture Kids are the international nomads that possess the cross-cultural views and diverse experiences that are necessary in a ever-shrinking world.

Formally defined, TCKs are people who have spent a portion of their formative childhood years (0-18) in a culture different than their parents. TCKs are, quite literally, citizens of the world. They are hard to define and are made of an infinite amount of experiences.

Last August Denizen conducted an informal online survey of more than 200 Third Culture Kids. The majority of respondents were female, with the average age being 29. They were curious about the lives of the modern Third Culture Kid. They wanted to learn more about who these TCKs were, how often they’d moved, and how they had aged.

To the most frequently asked question “Where are you from?”, the easiest response is always “It’s complicated.”

Where do Swiss go when they live abroad?

Did you know that more than one in ten Swiss lives abroad? The number has more than doubled since 1980. This graphic illustrates that the Swiss don’t like to stray too far from home.

At the end of 2015, more than 760,000 Swiss lived abroad. Most of the Swiss emigrating abroad are young: the average age for women is 33 years old and for men, it’s 35.

France is the biggest draw for expats, with a Swiss community of almost 200,000 people. I would be one of those! The latest date from the Federal Statistical Office shows that 3,982 Swiss moved there in 2014. Second on the list is Germany with 86,774 expats at the end of 2015 and 2,667 new arrivals from Switzerland by the end of 2014.

So where have you come from? Where would you like to move to?

When being an Expat does not work

Becoming an expatriate is as exciting as it is frightening. A new life away from home brings all kinds of new challenges. From new food and drinks to new habits and rituals. But you also encounter expat problems. Common expat problems are loneliness, cultural differences, sorting out health care, cost of living, finding proper schools for children, learning the language and relationship problems.

Here is an info graph about some issues an expat might come across. No, it is not always a smooth ride...

Those who make the move with a spouse face problems of their own. Some worry that their partner or family doesn’t seem happy with the decision. A travelling spouse may well have given up a career and suffered from a loss of income, which can affect the dynamic of the relationship. A large proportion of travelling spouses (65%) are unhappy with being financially dependent on their partner and 45% are concerned by the loss of financial independence.

Other factors can also have a negative impact: 52% of travelling spouses say their partner is always working long hours, 51% feel they are expected to organise all the practical aspects of their life abroad and 27% feel discriminated against because of their gender, an issue far more prevalent among women.

7 tips for better communication with your tweens and teens

Any parent of a tween or teen will know things change when the hormones kick in at puberty. If you throw an international move into the mix it does not make it easier. We may talk using words, but our looks, gestures and actions and even our silences all convey messages to our children.

At the end of the day, you know your child better than anyone, and you are best placed to help him/her. Below are some pointers to guide you on your way.

These tips are especially useful if you lead a mobile lifestyle, as having meaningful chats with your child during times of transition will help deepen your relationship, meaning you’ll both feel stronger.

1. Listen more than you talk
As philosopher Epictetus once said, "We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak."

2. Empathize with the child and his/her message.
Avoid giving instant solutions to your child. Advice can come later, when/if they ask for it.

3. Show acceptance
Clearly communicate acceptance of the child and what they are trying to say.

4. Talk with your child, rather than at him/her
Facilitate a two-way conversation, rather than giving a lecture. Children of all ages want to be understood, not preached to. They are also far more likely to take your advice on board if they have felt included in the conversation.

5. Request, don’t demand
Requests are best made in a simple, positive, one- or two-step process. Do not demand, ask kindly and with respect.

6. Treat your child as an equal
Communicate with your children at eye level, rather than from above. Take a seat together, or crouch down with young ones. This way the communication is both less threatening and more supportive. Going for a ride in the car together can work wonders!

7. Discuss change openly
If you are raising children who are growing up outside of their parents’ home culture(s) make sure you discuss each move with your child and prepare them for it.

It’s also crucial to remind your teen that friendship and love are never gone; their loved ones from a previous country or school are always there. Your teen can still communicate via email, Skype, telephone. Encourage him/her to take advantage of online technology.

.. and never forget... you lead by example!

Hit by a wave...

We are Expats, we have moved many a times, we have left homes and started anew with much enthusiasm and motivation in new locations again and again. However, there is a limbo in between these two stages that makes my heart sink every time I think about it. Once the movers arrive to pack my life up into boxes I know the moment is near when I'll need to step out of my front door never to return again.

It is like watching a huge wave heading your way. You can see it coming and you know once it reaches you it will hit you hard - really hard - but you also know you cannot avoid it, you NEED to get through it. The wave is a whirlwind of emotions all happening at the same time: vulnerability, happiness, sadness, relief, anxiety, enthusiasm, weariness, curiosity and eventually exhaustion. When you emerge the other side of this wave you are not the same person, something has shifted. You have closed a chapter of your life to start a new one. Your attitude with which you begin writing this pristine page will often set the tone of a more or less smooth settling down for you and your family.

Moving within the same city has been a new experience for me. Usually I get to close the door behind me one last time, rush to the airport and am in floods of tears before the plane even takes off! It is part of the mourning process, a way to bid farewell to a place my family calls home.

This time I climbed into an Uber taxi carrying a hoover and two pairs of curtains to ride 1 km down the road and walk into our new home, only problem is: it isn't home... not just YET!

Leaving our imprint on the flat through these marking of Expat kids' growth over the years!

It will be alright... or how to move a pink flamingo

After five years sitting tight enjoying a splendid view onto the Arc de Triomphe we are moving ... again! It is a weird move, at least for our family! We are used to crossing borders even continents, this time instead of travelling thousands of km we are moving 1000 meters down the road.

This still implies packing up the entire house and fitting your life into x amount of boxes. (I don't dare mention the number of boxes.) What I will say, however, is that it is scary to see your home - yes, that would be the one you spent days, months even years building and improving - being dismantled within hours ... by total strangers!

I usually avoid this part of the move. I will plan all the logistics, including insurance, parking spaces, freight elevator, labelling, wrapping personal items but just before the movers arrive I leave with tears streaming down my face. It is my hubby who takes over for a day in order for me to avoid seeing our home empty and desolate. I then pick up the other end rebuilding our family home for the umpteenth time!

This time around it is me instructing the movers to be careful, label correctly and answering their questions. I must admit it is easier knowing we won't be leaving our friends behind, we can still enjoy a scrumptious fois gras on a swanky Parisian terrace and stroll through Paris' lovely parks and museums knowing we are on home turf. We are NOT tourists! This is our home!

There I've said it out loud and written it down: Paris is our home. We have been living here for the past five years and will most probably remain for at least as many. That is VERY good going for perpetual expats such as ourselves.

But for now, I am listened to my kids playing hide-and-seek in between the many, many, many boxes and making make-shift goals to play soccer in a corridor stripped of family photos and emotional keepsakes.

Last week, a little token caught my fancy and on a whim I bought the transparent snow globe enclosing a miniaturized Tour Eiffel and a Pink Flamingo! I just could not resist and told myself it would help me to keep smiling should things get rough during the coming week.

I have looked at my little snow globe a few times this weekend while preparing our household for the movers to take over and my smile returned. An army of movers turned up at 8am this morning with their moving boxes and you'll never guess what was pictured on their cartons? A PINK FLAMINGO!

At the moment I knew it would all be just fine!!!

Change of Address checklist

T'is the time of year... when Expats start saying their farewells and pack up to move around the globe.

When you change your address, you can get your mail forwarded for a little while... if you are lucky, but you’ll propably need to let a lot of places know the old-fashioned way, i.e. manually.

Some may be as simple as changing your address online, others may require forms mailed in. Also, keep in mind that some places that charge you monthly payments may not be able to do so if you change your address at your banking institution, as address information is sometimes used to authenticate your card usage.

And just for your info, even Betty Bossi's recipe magazines can be sent abroad. I had my subscription sent all the way to Argentina for two years. ;)

To make all of this simpler, you'll find this handy checklist that I have come across today. Click here for a printable version.

What is Culture shock?

Culture shock has been studied and defined by many different people over the years and it affects everyone differently.

Basically Culture shock is the feeling of disorientation experienced by someone when they are suddenly subjected to an unfamiliar culture, way of life, or set of attitudes.

There is also reverse culture shock. This is when an individual has successfully adjusted to the new social or cultural group, and then returns to his or her home country, or original social or cultural group.  This can be due to over-idealizing one’s home country or culture, or expecting that nothing has changed while they were away, when it actually has.

To better understand the signs and symptoms of culture shock, one must understand the four basic stages:

Honeymoon Period:
This is when you first arrive in the new location, and everything is new and exciting.
Crisis Period:
This is when your feelings of disillusionment culminate, and you begin to cope.
Recovery:
This is when you gradually adapt, and learn to behave like the local culture/social group.
Adjustment:
Function effectively, and perform day to day tasks secondhand

The signs and symptoms of culture shock are: 
- homesickness
- stereotyping or feelings of hostility towards hosts
- excessive boredom
- feelings of isolation
- boredom
- withdrawal

The fact of the matter is that once you know about culture shock, you can also learn how to prevent culture shock. Here are five tips:

1. Learn about your new location first, be open-minded and willing to learn!

2. Maintain a positive sense of humour. The ability to laugh at your mistakes, and smile at people makes a world of difference in the eyes of your hosts, no matter which part of the world.

3. Know before you leave that moving or traveling somewhere different is challenging, and that it is normal to go through an adjustment period.

4. Do not withdraw. Look for positive people, travel around, take part in cultural and/or school events.

5. Take a part of home with you. Food, photos and music all help when going through a rough spot. Stay connected and keep in touch with family and friends through Skype, WhatsApp, and FaceTime.

Last but not least my personal advice would be to start a journal (or a blog) of the new things you come across every day and your reactions to your new home. Writing things down will help you keep them in perspective, and are funny to look back on!

One more tip: Never confuse your ability to speak the new language with your intelligence; it is easy to feel stupid and get down on yourself, but there is no reason to. It takes everyone some time to adjust and become comfortable with a new language.

And remember: YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

A little thing called culture shock

When we go into culture shock, we are in free fall. Having exited from our comfort zone, we are stripped straight down to our core. Oftentimes we lose confidence in our ability to meet the most basic needs: What do I eat? Where do I sleep?  Who do I connect with? Where do I belong? Will I be safe?

Cognitive dissonance is a big part of the problem. Our ideas and the reality we find sur place don’t match—which can feel threatening.

But leaving our comfort zone also propels us into a moment of accelerated growth. As we slowly begin to make sense of all the new sights, sounds, smells, tastes, textures—and interactions with others—we expand our minds to incorporate new perspectives. There is potential for us to learn compassion, kindness and gratitude. The experience may feel raw—but it can also be exhilarating.

5 tools for handling the culture shock:

1. Consider the benefits:
The term “culture shock” often evokes negative connotations. But let’s turn that on its head and pretend for a moment we don’t need a toolbox. Simply ask yourself:

How have challenging cultural transitions positively impacted my life?

2. Use food as an icebreaker:
Food is a great way to learn about a new country and connect with people over a shared need. Say, how about getting out those cooking tools? :)

3. Communicate:
“Please”, “Thank you”, and a smile go a long way in someone else’s culture. Learn some basic phrases in the new language before you take off. For sure, a small phrase book, pocket dictionary or app ought to be in your toolbox. While you won’t end up having an in-depth conversation about political or social issues right away, at least you’ve made a start. Also, given that most communication is nonverbal, don’t be afraid to use your hands and feet—always fun no matter how clumsy it might feel! Find out about body language. What’s the polite way to hail a cab? Beckon someone to come over? Is it rude or polite to look someone directly in the eyes? Observe.

4. Slow down:
Treat the fact that you are entering a new culture as an opportunity to slow down and take it easy. Take time to adapt and go of any preconceptions. Think of this tool as a pressure valve: open it up and let go all of that stress and pressure out. Don’t force yourself to visit as many sights as you can—even if you feel obliged to do so. The point is to enjoy yourself, isn’t it? Allow yourself time to fully experience this transition.

5. Practice the art of being grateful:
Seeing life from a different perspective is a wonderful way to learn to appreciate what we have been given, on the road as well as in the home we’ve left behind. Here are some of the things you might be grateful for:
• hot water
• clean water
• access to fresh food
• conversations you have with people you meet along the way
• kindness of strangers
• friends you make for life
• lessons you learn
• the privilege of having the opportunity to experience all this in the first place

So, use the tools you have at hand to open your mind to the good things that surround you.

Tips for moving with kids

Moving from one destination to another is not easy for us adults, imagine what effect it has on our kids. Make sure you involve them in the process.

Here are some helpful ideas that can help ensure a smooth and happy relocation:

1.) Before the move
Together with your child, learn about the new place you will be living and what to expect. Read books, look on the internet or contact the tourist board of your new country. It is very important for children to be able to say a proper goodbye to one place before arriving in another; in fact, many people feel that if you don’t say goodbye properly you’ll start off on the wrong foot in the next location.

2.) When you arrive
When arriving in a new country, be sure to help your child settle in quickly. Making friends is often the most pressing issue for a child. So be proactive and invite the neighbours’ kids over to play or arrange for a classmate to come over after school. Maintain strong ties to your home country. Keeping in contact with friends and family through letters, email and parcels or other items is a great idea. Preserve the festivals and special occasions you had back home – and share these things with your new host countrymen. Keep traditions in your own family alive by maintaining routines.

3.) Going back home or moving again
Make sure you keep items that represent your time in the country you are leaving, to remember it by. Keep photos, jot down memories, keep postcards and other information on what you visited and saw in your new country in a scrapbook. Look back at the places you have lived, including your home culture regularly. Ensure that you allow a time for sadness and sorrow, but with the happy expectations of a new adventure to come.

When returning back home to live, remember you and your child will have changed and grown in many ways. Be prepared for “reverse culture shock”, where your child may complain no one understands them and how they feel. You can help your child by being available for talks, remembering the places you’ve been and discussing your feelings about coming home.

Articles I like about Expat life on Pinterest

Pinterest is a beautiful tool to gather all your recipes, deco ideas, printable websites and favourite articles. When I come across an article about a subject I am passionate about I pin it on my designated "Articles I like ...." board. Check out the Expat articles I have collected over the past months: https://www.pinterest.com/expatwithkids/articles-i-like-expats/

Discover some facts on TCK here: https://www.pinterest.com/expatwithkids/tck/

Happy Sunday Reading

Wondering about cost of living

June is the month of moving for many Expats. The school year ends and the families continue their journey onto their next destination. Here is useful tool that calculates the cost of living across the globe.

Numbeo is the world’s largest database of user contributed data about cities and countries worldwide. It provides current and timely information on world living conditions including cost of living, housing indicators, health care, traffic, crime and pollution.

So give it a try and see how much a coke or a cup of coffee costs in your new home: http://www.numbeo.com/cost-of-living/

Comparis: Switzerland's favourite comparison service

June is the season of departures and arrivals for Expats. If you are arriving in Ticino, I have just the app for you: Comparis Property Switzerland. You'll find the all listings of the largest property portals at a glance, it searches all listings on comparis.ch, Homegate, Immoscout24, Newhome and other Swiss portals simultaneously.

Comparis is the leading Swiss Internet comparison service. On www.comparis.ch, consumers can easily and quickly compare rates and services. The site had almost 60 million visitors last year and thus counts among the most widely used Swiss websites.

The Property App allows you to quickly and easily check out the current offers on the real estate market throughout Switzerland. There is also a Car App, an health Insurance App and a Mortgage App.

The Car Market App allows you to quickly and easily check out the current offers on the car market wherever you are.

With the Health Insurance App you can compare the premiums for 2015 from all Swiss health insurance providers and save plenty of money.

The Mortgage App always keeps you up to date on the daily interest rates. With the help of push notifications you can additionally create a personal interest alarm.

For more info click here to enter Comparis site: https://en.comparis.ch

Where is home?

The most difficult question to answer for my kids is: "Where is home?"

These are some of Lugano's expats answers that I have collected. Which is your definition?

"Home is where and when I am at peace with myself."

"Home is wherever I leave or have left behind parts of me. Home is anywhere I feel varying degrees of being complete. To come home is to come back for whatever or to whomever you've left there."

"Home to me is a kind of mindset (helped by place, certain people, certain conditions, circumstances) that one is used to starting from and returning to, day in and day out. It doesn't have to be external, or even something you like all the time, though consistency/predictability is key. Home's important because one needs an anchor in a world, even if it's an anchor you can carry around. You forget who you are and lose stability without this default point of start/return."

"Home is the space I create for myself and my family but not in any country, it is just that space and is recreated each time we move. I find that there are some key objects that I place around me that I have collected from all the places I have lived that help to create that space. It is important to me because that is the only place to be truly me, accepted, and free from judgement."

"Home is wherever my children are, where our laughter resides and where new memories can be made."

"Home are people who you can always come back to. Home is not only one place but places where I left my heart."

Cost of living world infographic

Sometimes it is not great to be top of the list. Decide for yourself. In Switzerland the high cost of living comes with the exceptional quality of life. This is a very personal judgement and often difficult to measure.

Expats think about cost of living all the time, especially when they’re looking to move from one location to another. The perspective is, therefore, generally focused on that country.

The Consumer Price Index, used to determine the difference in the living costs between countries takes into account the prices of groceries, transportation, restaurants and utilities, each containing a number of variables. The cost of groceries, for instance, is made up of the price for meat, bread, rice, eggs, fruits, vegetables and alcohol. The transportation cost includes one-way tickets, monthly passes, taxi fares, petrol prices as well as the prices of a Volkswagen Golf. The restaurant costs comprise of prices for meals in expensive, mid-range and inexpensive restaurants, as well as the prices for coffee products, alcohol and water in restaurants. The utilities costs are determined by the prices for electricity, heating, water and Internet, among the few.

Here is some awesome data that forces you to take a look at the entire world. I am not quite sure how Venezuela got third place. Someone enlighten me?

An interesting map from MoveHub reveals living costs around the world.

What is the Expat Child Syndrome?

Many people ask me how my children react to our moving around the globe on a more or less regular bases. My fundamental belief is kids resound off their parents. They might not always feel the same way in a given moment but it is you - their parents - they trust and turn to for guidance in the end.

There is something called an Expat Child Syndrome:
Expat Child Syndrome is a term that has been coined by psychologists to describe an emotional stress in children caused by a move abroad.

What causes it?
ECS is most commonly found in children who are aged between 10 and 15. During this period of a child’s life they undergo significant emotional and physical changes and will often utilize their social circles as a mean of coping with these changes. Adolescence is a difficult period in the lives of all children, but when children are removed from their close circle of friends they can often find it even more difficult to deal with the mental and physical changes they are experiencing.

Teens are likely to need plenty of empathy and support even though they may not ask for it in an obvious way. Look out for rebelling and mood swings. These are signals that he or she needs help with the adjustment.

In order to avoid expat child syndrome occurring it is essential that parents carefully plan and implement the move abroad. Involve your kids in preparation and execution of the move according to their age, of course. Tell them it is OK to feel scared or worried or sad. Sometimes even happy or excited at the same time! Express your own feelings more explicitly but most of all talk individually and as a family: A LOT!

Keep open lines of communication throughout the emigration process. This is especially important during the settling-in phase where children will deal with unfamiliar people and surroundings, and will need plenty of positive support. Listen to your child, let them express their feelings, without necessarily coming up with solutions.

Remind yourself of the importance of having a proper farewell. Think of it as a gateway between the new life and the old. Hold a going away party, take lots of photographs and make your children feel as if they are on the cusp of a great experience. Get the children to plan their own goodbyes as well.

You are a team embarking on a new adventure. Celebrate the positive and don't forget the memories  as well as your friends that you will carry with you in your heart.